After closer inspection, it was clear that the stool was structurally unsound due to a bit of a design flaw, and it made a lot more sense why the thing had only been two pounds. The bars supporting the stool-legs were about a centimetre longer then they should be, meaning the legs had become twisted in an attempt to stay together and the screws had become rusty and crooked. This wasn't going to be as straight forward as I had hoped.
The stool then sat in a corner of our living room for a few weeks with its legs pointing in every direction, while I pondered how to approach the situation. Friends referred to it as "an abstract sculpture" and laughed when I told them I'd paid two whole pounds for a broken stool. Eventually, I decided to take the whole thing apart, rusty crooked screws and all and then attempt to reassemble it. After a bit of fiddling about with wood glue, our trusty drill and two licks of Dulux' Urban Obsession and the stool was reformed back to its former glory. I'm still a bit nervous about actually sitting on it though!